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People pleasing appears in many packages

"Life either kisses you with pleasure or teaches you with pain, but both are for your benefit." -Aaron Abke


People pleasing comes in all different sizes and packages, and I butted up against it this past week.


And, it was painful...


And, it was a gift.


And what I know about pain, as our body, The Absolute Truth-Telling Guidance System, was telling me that somewhere I'm not living in my Truth.


Last Saturday, I went to adopt a little kitty whom I had my eye on.


I wanted an orange kitty who is lovable, social, and can be picked up and cuddled.


And, I only wanted one.


But...I was talked into two.


Sometimes being talked into something works, other times, most times, it doesn't.


I adopted an 11-month-old girl and a sweet orange boy kitten, Chad.


When I got home the 11-month-old got scared and hid behind the toilet all day.


Let's just say the next three nights were painful and uncomfortable for me and the 11-month-old kitty. It wasn't just me, she was uncomfortable too.


This wasn't what I thought being a new kitty mom was going to be. I wanted an enjoyable experience. I get it, some new things come with discomfort at first, and I was open to some room for change and adjustment, but this was more than that.


I was determined to provide this fearful kitty with a safe place to call home. I adopted her so I must figure this out.


I called the foster and she came over to help. I learned some more history about this sweet scared girl. I was more determined. I was more uncomfortable.


As I lay there for the third night in a row of no sleep because of the incessant meowing all night, which only happened at night, I heard myself say, this might not work out.


Oh, boy, this is when it got most uncomfortable.


Thoughts started pouring in...


I felt bad.

How could I give up on this kitty so soon?

I was going to be another person to abandon her.

People would think I was not responsible.

I would be leaving the kitten with no pal to play with.

Maybe getting cats was a mistake.

And, on and on...


Then my Higher Self would chime in, and say but what if she isn't happy either? What if I'm forcing her to be somewhere she doesn't want to be? What is it that you want, Deana?


I was in this painful place of What do I do???


I asked myself if I felt good about getting Chad and it was a quick and 100% yes. Easy answer.


I couldn't say this about girl kitty.


So, then I asked, who am I trying to please? Was it other people, the kitty, or myself?


It was the kitty and other people AND I knew my answer at that point.


I do not live my life anymore trying to please others.


If I do then every party involved is unhappy.


I must choose myself, and I made the hard decision.


As soon as I made the decision, I had a sense of peace flow through my body and I have not once regretted my decision.


So much love to you, may Peace be with you.


XO, D

 

I am a master-in-training for being the space for myself to learn and grow and know the absolute truth of who I am. I am whole, healthy, abundant, love, and free…so are you. I forget this sometimes and that’s perfectly okay. I get to remember and forget and remember…for the rest of my life. So far I've played the role of an athlete, police officer, health coach, and nutritionist and mostly I desire to help others on this amazing journey called Life.


Please join me on Instagram @deanalansing


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