I consider myself a lifelong seeker of truth and how I can better contribute to people. If you were to tell me 10 years ago that I would be where I am today, I would’ve thought you were crazy. But here I am, and I am so grateful for this beautifully messy journey.
I grew up the youngest in a family with boys and in a household that played sports. To say I was a tomboy was an understatement. I dreaded wearing dresses, I wanted to dress in my brothers’ clothes, wear my hair like my dad, and go to the bathroom standing up as it seemed way cooler than sitting down, does that give you some reference?
I always excelled in sports and thank goodness, as I often say, that sports were the platform in my life that taught me the most. I learned many important life lessons, as well as learning how to actually feel, which I have learned has been my gateway to living a more conscious life. I’m not sure if there’s a “playing field” of life that has you feel both extremes more; a heightened level of elation when you win a competitive game, and the heart wrenching low of losing. Sports also instilled the importance of practice and understanding the concept of teamwork; both of which are important values in how I approach life today.
Through my love of sports and the willingness to practice, I earned a scholarship to play Division I basketball and, although I didn’t realize it at the time, I continued to develop my personal foundation there. Several years after college, I started in on my first “real” career as a police officer. At that time in my life, this was the perfect fit for me. It’s a profession where you need to have armor, literally and emotionally to survive. I was a completely different person from the beginning of my career to when I left, two years ago. I worked as a police officer for 17 years and I don’t regret one minute of it, as it taught me so much.
About 10 years ago, I started on my personal growth journey and dove headfirst into why I wasn’t fulfilled in my job, why my relationships weren’t working, and overall unhappy with my life. My first thought was that I wanted to find a church as that was the only way I knew how to connect with a higher Source, which I felt I needed. The church I found resonated immediately on my first visit. I had sampled several before I found this one. They referenced God; however, it was in a new, yet refreshing way for me. To be clear, I honor and respect ALL ways to our Truth. The real understanding for me was, there isn’t a “right” way for everyone, there is a right way for you and a right way for me, and I believe this goes for ALL things in life.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Shortly after, I attended an event at the church, a guest speaker named, Dr. Joe Dispenza. I left that event with my mind blown, his new book in my hand, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, and revved and ready to open my mind and heart to brand new possibilities. My mind was completely blown open and I wanted to know more and more about this way of thinking and being in the world. From this day, I haven’t stopped wanting to learn who it is I truly am. I began reading, listening, and soaking up all that I could. I went on retreats, met new people, learned about nature, being quiet, and nourishing my body in different ways. I began to notice little shifts in my life that felt exciting and new.
Slowly, as I began shifting, I wanted to change what I was eating. I loved fast food, candy, and sugary drinks, but while I thought I loved these foods, I felt shame around eating them as well. I would often hide the truth that I liked them and would eat them secretively. As this was my way of life in relation to food, the other areas of my life were covered with shame and fear as well.
It wasn't that I loved these foods.
I later learned that it wasn’t that I loved these foods, I liked how I felt when I was eating them. They didn’t give me sustained energy, they gave me the pleasure that I was looking for; they tasted good, and made me feel good for a short time.
When I started intentionally nourishing myself in different ways, including eating less of these sugary foods, I noticed that that late afternoon drag wasn’t happening as much, I found I was more consistent with my workouts, mentally I was more stable, my outlook on life was more positive, and I even moved into a position at work that I loved.
It wasn’t just one thing that I was doing, it was a culmination of looking closer to how I was thinking and viewing myself in the world, coupled with the desire to feel better in my body, which lead to eating better, moving more, and learning the value of quiet time.
“How you do anything is how
you do everything.”
Create the health that you desire.
Don’t let me fool you, this process isn’t linear, it can sometimes feel we’re taking a step forward and then two steps back.
Even though it feels like we’re taking steps backward, we won’t ever take backward steps. It’s all a process of learning. I learned this deeply about two years ago when one of my biggest fears came to fruition. Over the past 20 years, I’ve experienced an autoimmune condition called alopecia, which is the loss of hair. In the past, I would hide my bald spots and with a quick trip to the dermatologist I could “fix” it and no one even knew. I wasn’t addressing the core reason why it was falling out and there was a part of me that logically knew this, but I wasn’t really sure how to go about it. What I knew was to work harder, read more books, understand things better, get more degrees, eat the right foods, etc., but the Universe had another plan…
A whole new way of being.
The Universe was really, really trying to get my attention and invite me to let in a whole new way of being. However, my resistance to this and my deep-rooted beliefs that I wasn’t good enough caused my system to go out of whack and I began losing all my hair. At first, I couldn’t understand, it must’ve been me, I had to be doing something wrong. It felt like I was taking steps backward. And boy did this bring up ALL the fears that were (and still working on) stored in my body in a way that I couldn’t resist any longer. I was ready to embrace it and hear what it was trying to tell me…I finally surrendered to an awareness that it was all happening FOR me. (Please see my blog for further details.)
With the ebbs and flows of life, one thing I did (and still do) know was my passion around nutrition and to learn how to nourish my mind and body overall. So, I’ve been busy getting spun up on this cool, fun stuff! I’m now a certified health/life coach and I received my personal training certification, and recently finished my master’s in nutrition and health education and am now a Certified Nutritionist.